The Adventures of Shadow and Phantom
by Acacia Eastbramble
Summary: We all know Edward has run ins with criminals and schemes and such, but what happens when he meets the world's only well meaning criminals? Pairings will be listed or will become apparent in later chapters.
1. Travelers

**A/N:** This is the story Russel saw in Michelle's notebook (the one she never got back) btw I'll post according to the number of reviews I get per chapter.

1 review: 2 weeks til next update

3 reviews: 1 1/2 week(s) til update

5 reviews: 1 week til update

10 or up: update asap

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FMA or the characters, but I do own Michelle and Lyn and my computer, and my notebook...

**R&R**

The Adventures of Shadow and Phantom

"Dialogue"

'Thoughts'

Sounds

(The real person or an explanation)

/Motion/

Chapter 1: Travelers

Michelle Lyn

It was not the first time Michelle and Lyn had preformed but still neither of them had ever preformed in front of such a large crowd. It was difficult for them to keep their hearts from sinking into their stomachs. Lyn looked out at the audience from behind the safety of the curtain. She noticed one figure that stood out from the rest of the crowd, a large suit of armor. "Oh my god, Michelle, you have got to see this!" Lyn was now standing at the side of the stage. Michelle slid onto center stage and yelled, "What's burning!"

"Nothing," Lyn replied bluntly. "Dang it!" Michelle exclaimed in frustration. "Ha! I found it!" Michelle said triumphantly. "Michelle, not here, not now," Lyn said in a concerned voice. "Hehehe, it burns!" Michelle said while setting a small piece of paper on fire. "Michelle, Michelle!" Lyn said while tapping urgently on Michelle's shoulder. "Burn baby, burn, Disco inferno! Burn baby, burn!" Michelle sung while laughing hysterically. Then Michelle took one glance at the large audience who's attention was now completely on her "Hehehe, and now I have stage fright," she said while nervously exiting the stage. "Thank you everyone! The show will begin as soon as we gain control of our pyrotechnics!" Lyn said while trying to douse the small fire.

Just as the small fire went out there was a large crash and boom noise from backstage as large flames shot onto the stage (but they did not set the stage on fire). "Oops. My bad," Michelle said while peaking her head out through the curtains "Please continue," Michelle said while ducking back into the safety of the curtains. "On with the show!" Lyn yells to the audience.

Michelle: Yay! It's the end of the 1st chapter!!!!

Lyn: Oh joy…

**A/N:** remember the more reviews the faster the next chapie comes out so tell your friends!


	2. First Impressions

A/N: Chapter 2 is out simply because I couldn't wait to put it out, but the review system will be followed loosely. Your inscentive to review is that reviewers get exclusive info on the characters: pairings, descriptions, etc.

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA or the characters but I do own Michelle and Lyn.

Chapter 2: First Impressions

Edward Alphonse

After the show, Lyn joins Michelle backstage. "That went well," Michelle said. The person in the suit of armor and another, shorter boy with blonde hair walked into the room. "You aren't supposed to be back here," Lyn said in a very irritated voice. "Yeah I am!" Michelle yelled defensively. "I'm not talking to you!" Lyn explained. "Well who else would you be talking to?" Michelle asked dumbly as Lyn gestured at the two boys. "What are they doing back here?" Michelle yelled. "How am I supposed to know?" Lyn said sarcastically. "My name is Edward Elric, I work for the military, I'm can do whatever I want," the blonde haired boy said while holding out what both Lyn and Michelle knew was an alchemist watch. Michelle stepped closer because of her odd attraction to shiny objects. "Michelle step back… he can do whatever he wants," Lyn warned. Michelle thought for a moment then jumped backwards "That's disgusting!" she yelled. Lyn could not help but laugh. "God I have a boyfriend!" Michelle yelled at her. "No you don't," Lyn said. "Yeah well that's not the point!" Michelle yelled angrily.

"I didn't mean it like that!" Edward, the blonde haired boy, said defensively. Lyn observed him for a moment; he had long blonde hair that was in a loose braid, yellow eyes, and was wearing a red jacket over a black shirt and pants, white gloves and he looked like he was about eleven, but he sounded like he was older than that. "How old are you?" Lyn asked abruptly. "Fifteen" Edward said proudly. Both Michelle and Lyn tried to stifle laughter. "Why, how old are you guys?" he asked in a very offended voice. "Fifteen," Lyn and Michelle replied in unison. "Wait, if you're fifteen that would make him /Michelle gestured at the suit of armor/ your dad," Michelle said. "What?!? He's my brother!" Edward yelled in a very frustrated voice. "Older?" Michelle asked in a confused voice. "No! Younger!" Edward yelled. Michelle and Edward went on arguing for a while.

Meanwhile… "You know you're hollow right?" Lyn asked while knocking lightly on the suit of armor, she paused quickly "Wait people aren't hollow," the suit of armor looked around nervously "Well you see, actually…" Lyn did not give him a chance to finish she had already removed the suit's head and thrown it at Michelle who was still arguing with Edward. Lyn missed slightly and hit Edward in the back of the head. "Hey! Watch it!" Edward yelled angrily. "Whoa… cool! Echo, echo, echo-whoa!" Lyn said as she lost her balance and fell head first into the suit of armor. "A little help please!" she yelled helplessly. "What've you done this time?" Michelle asked as she wheeled around to see what her friend had gotten herself into. She saw Lyn's legs dangling outside the suit of armor. "And I thought I was desperate!" Michelle yelled sarcastically. "No, no! I'm stuck!" Lyn said pitifully. "What's your brother's name?" Michelle asked Edward quickly. "Alphonse, or Al why?" he asked as he witnessed the answer. "Al! Let her go" Michelle yelled while banging on the suit of armor. Edward shook his head and said "It doesn't work that way, help me pull her out," "Alright," Michelle replied. Edward and Michelle successfully released Lyn and gave Alphonse his head back.

"Al has a blood seal doesn't he?" Lyn asked abruptly. "So that's why you have automail," Michelle said with a twinge of realization in her voice. "What happened?" Lyn asked in a curious voice. "None of your business," Edward said while crossing his arms. "That wasn't very nice," Michelle said. "Who said I was a nice person," he asked. "Well usually if you're willing to give up body parts to save someone's life, you're a nice person," Michelle said then tried to catch her breath. "You know brother she does have a point," Al said quietly. "Well that doesn't matter that isn't why we're here," Edward said quickly. "Then why are you here?" Lyn asks. "I need to ask you some questions concerning the recent robberies in the area," Edward said. "Shoot!" Michelle said while pointing her hands so they looked like guns.

"Shadow and Phantom were the culprits in several robberies in three different cities. What do you know about them?" he asked. "They're good. Damn good," Michelle replied. "That they are. Over one hundred robberies in the past ten months and not one surveillance video of them," Edward said. Michelle and Lyn exchanged glances, giggled then Lyn replied "That's amazing."

"Although we did get a description from an eyewitness, Phantom has just below the shoulder length brown hair, brown eyes, and dresses in tight all black clothes with black boots and gloves. Shadow has shoulder length blonde hair, brown eyes and dresses in a tight black long sleeved shirt, dark green baggy cargo pants, gloves and combat boots. In addition, both wear a black mask with large cat ears. Have you seen anyone matching these descriptions?" he asked.

"Nope," Lyn said quickly. "Who's ever heard of a blonde with brown eyes?" Michelle replied. Lyn shot Michelle a sharp quick glance. "That's weird because that same eyewitness says that he saw both Shadow and Phantom wondering around this tent," Edward said tauntingly. "Well then I guess it's a good thing all of our money is locked up tight," Lyn said. "Indeed. You two wouldn't happen to know Shadow and Phantom, would you?" he asked accusingly. Lyn and Michelle paused for a moment and looked at each other, then at Edward. "Of course not, what would make you think that?" Michelle said while loosening her collar slightly. "You know what's really astonishing?" Edward asked while pacing the room. "Wha-What?" Lyn asked. "Everything they steal is returned within hours of the discovery," he said as Lyn let out a sigh of relief. "And they leave us clues, clues that don't make the slightest amount of sense until the next strike," Edward added. "Wow. They must be really clever," Michelle said. "Oh they are. And if I ever meet them I know the first thing I'll ask them," he said.

"What?" Lyn asked curiously. "Not what, but how?" he said wryly. "How did you manage to steal a grand piano and then reassemble it on the roof in twenty minutes flat? How did you get into the highest security room on the planet without setting off any alarms or injuring anybody? How? _How? __**How?**_" Edward asked admirably. "It sounds like you've really done your research on them," Lyn said in a semi-freaked out voice. "You know the second question I'll ask?" Edward asked. "No," Michelle said sarcastically.

"Why?" Edward said. "If you aren't going to keep anything you take why go through the trouble? Why do you return everything you steal? Why do you leave us clues? **Why**?" Edward asked himself. "It's like they're taunting us. It's like it's a game to them. It's like they're doing it just to prove they can," he said in frustrated voice. "Exactly!" Michelle blurted out. Everyone turned and stared at her. "Sometimes when someone's telling a story she gets really into it and puts herself in the main characters shoes," Lyn said while covering her mouth. "Oh, well, um, thank you for your cooperation," Edward said in a confused yet suspicious voice. "You're welcome!" Michelle yelled as Edward and Al left the room. "Glad to help," Lyn said. Once Edward and Al were out of hearing range Lyn started chewing Michelle out. "You almost blew our cover with that last outburst!" she yelled angrily. "All I said was 'you're welcome'!" Michelle defended herself. "Not that! When he was telling the story!" she yelled. "Oh sorry, I couldn't help it!" Michelle said quietly. "Whatever. Let's just get ready for bed," Lyn said in a frustrated voice.

Michelle: Wow that was close!!

Lyn: Shh! They can still hear us!

Michelle: Who can still hear us?

Lyn: Who do think?

Michelle: I don't know that's why I asked!

Lyn: Why do I even bother?

A/N: R&R! Hope you liked it!


	3. Clues

A/N: R&R

Disclaimer: Do not own FMA unfortunately...

Chapter 3: Clues

Sorry this one is uber (very in German) short!

Roy Riza

Meanwhile… Edward and Al were just leaving the tent when Edward relaxed and put his hands behind his head. "That's them," Edward said proudly. "It's not good to judge people on first impressions brother," Al warned him quietly. "But Al don't you see it, they fit the descriptions perfectly!" Edward said confidently. "But brother a lot of girls fit those descriptions perfectly though," Al corrected him. "How many girls do you know that fit those descriptions perfectly and travel around together?" Edward asked with finality. "Not very many I suppose," Al admitted. "Come on we better get this information to Major Pain!" Edward said sarcastically. "You know you really shouldn't mock him brother," Al warned him again.

Later at Mustang's office… "So they match the descriptions?" a man with jet-black hair said from his chair. "Yes General, and they acted very strangely when I questioned them sir," Edward replied. "Good job Full Metal, Hawkeye and I will check it out tomorrow," the general said. "Shouldn't you get them tonight?" Edward asked curiously. "Why miss the show?" The black-haired man said with a grin.

Michelle: Omg they found us out!

Lyn: Naw? I had no idea.

Michelle: My god you're dull!

Lyn: Look who's talking!

Michelle: Well duh I'm the one that's talking it doesn't take a genius to figure that out!

Lyn: Apparently


	4. The Preformance

**A/N: R&R plz! Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own FMA, if I did Edward would be 6 inches taller and would fall in love with me, you didn't need to know that... But I do own my OCs!**

**Chapter 4: The Performance**

Michelle Lyn Edward Alphonse Roy Riza

The next day past quickly for Michelle and Lyn, before either of them knew it, it was time to get ready for the show. "This is my favorite skit yet!" Michelle yelled excitedly. "You say that every time we come up with a new one," Lyn pointed out. "That's beside the point. Any way this is going to be great I just know it!" Michelle exclaimed.

Then Lyn took her place on the stage: "Thank you, thank you! Now today is our last performance in Central so you will be our final audience. Tonight's skit is in honor of our location and two very well known military officers! Please welcome Michelle, who will be playing the beloved General Roy Mustang!" Michelle backhand-springed onto the stage, shot flames from her hands and took a wide bow. Her dark brown hair was tucked-up under a military hat; she was wearing a tight, blue, long-sleeved, long pant leotard, and a blue form fitting military jacket. The audience clapped and whistled, well all except for one very unhappy General Mustang. Let us just say his face looked a little like this: OoO. Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric, and First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye couldn't help but laugh. Back on stage Lyn waited for the noise of the crowd to die down: "And I, Lyn, will be playing Roy's second in command and trusted advisor, First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye!" Lyn got into fighting stance pulled a gun out of her pocket pointed up into the air and took a shot, Boom confetti shot out of the barrel of the gun along with a sign that read BANG! Lyn was wearing the military uniform with a more form-fitting jacket. Again everyone was on their feet clapping and whistling except for a very, very angry Riza Hawkeye. Now her face looked a bit like this: o.O. "Not so funny any more is it?" Roy asked dryly. Edward and Alphonse still couldn't help but laugh.

Once they had returned their focus to the stage the show had already started. Riza (Lyn) went to pull her gun out of its holster and accidentally pulled the trigger and "shot" Roy (Michelle) Boom the sign that read BANG! Fell out once again. Roy (Michelle) clutched his (her) heart and fell to the floor, looked out at the audience, winked, then said "I'm dead," then closed his (her) eyes. Riza (Lyn) ran over, kneeled beside Roy (Michelle), yelled "Noooooooo!" pulled a sword out of nowhere, stuck it under her arm, and attempted to fall over. The sword wouldn't allow her to go down any farther. "Okay, um, Riza (Lyn) pulled the sword out and threw it to the side Now I'm dead," Riza (Lyn) said while falling over Roy (Michelle). The audience clapped and cheered. Edward and Alphonse were cracking up. "It isn't funny!" Roy and Riza yelled at them in unison. Michelle and Lyn got up, took a bow and walked backstage.

Michelle: Yay! That was fun!

Lyn: You say that every time we finish a show.

Michelle: So, I really meant it this time.

Lyn: You say that… oh never mind.

Michelle: R&R!


	5. Confrontation

A/N: Hope you like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own FMA but I do own Shadow, Phantom and my computer!

Chapter 5: Confrontation

Sorry if it's short!

Michelle Lyn Edward Alphonse Roy Riza

"Hurry up, get ready!" Lyn yelled while trying to get her boots on. "I'm going as fast as I can!" Michelle yelled defensively while trying to get her formfitting costume on. Once both had finished they walked out onto the stage "no one" was paying attention. There were still a few dozen people trying to exit. "Hurry, grab those robes," Lyn said while handing a floor length black, hooded cloak to Michelle. Both put them on and tried to leave with the rest of the crowd. "Not so fast," Riza said while stepping in between Michelle and Lyn's way out and them. "You're under arrest," Roy said while standing beside Riza. "On what charges?" Michelle asked innocently. "Breaking and entering, armed robbery, trespassing, and last but not least, impersonating a military officer!" he said angrily.

"Guilty as charged!" Michelle yelled as took the cloak off and back flipped over Roy, and then tripped him. At the same time, Lyn slid through Riza's legs, switched her guns, stood beside Michelle, and took her cloak off. "Ladies and Gentlemen we have two very special guests with us today, please welcome Roy Mustang and Riza Hawkeye!" Lyn yelled as some of the people turned to see what the commotion was. Riza pulled a gun, pointed at Lyn, and pulled the trigger. Everyone except Lyn and Michelle flinched. 'Oh my god, did Riza just shoot that girl?' Roy thought to himself. Boom the little flag that read "BANG" Made its final appearance. "Damn it!" Riza yelled as she dropped the gun. Lyn held a gun in the air and pulled the trigger… POW a real bullet came out and confusion set in. Every one was rushing around trying to get out quickly. Michelle (Phantom) and Lyn (Shadow) left during the confusion, Edward and Alphonse hot on their trail.

Michelle: Come on! They're right behind us!

Lyn: Ya think?

Michelle: Yeah, but this isn't about me.

Lyn: Whatever just keep running.

Michelle: Please Review!


	6. The Capture

**A/N: I know it's been forever since I updated but nobody seems to be following it so I figured no one would mind... :pouts: just tell me what's wrong with it and I'll try to fix it! I'm willing to change!!!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own FMA although I wish I did, but if I did it wouldn't have been as popular as it is now...**

* * *

Chapter 6: The Capture

Edward and Alphonse were trailing Shadow and Phantom for a few minutes until they both went quickly down a narrow alleyway. Edward and Alphonse waited outside the alleyway to see if they could hear what Shadow and Phantom were saying.

"Phew, I think we lost them," Shadow said with a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, I wonder where the poor saps are," Phantom asked facetiously.

"Right under your nose, I'm like a booger that way!" Edward said while stepping into the front of the alleyway.

Shadow and Phantom look at him quickly, then exchange glances and shrug then look back at him.

"That sounded so much better in my head," Edward said quietly to himself.

"That's so cute he talks to himself!" Phantom screeched.

"Phantom!" Shadow yelled in disgust.

"What?!?" Phantom replied in a very confused voice.

"Phantom! He works for the military!" Shadow yelled.

"I know, I know, he can do whatever he wants!" Michelle said playfully. Shadow and Phantom looked at Edward then at each other and cracked up. Edward's face looked a little something like this: T.T'.

"I guess giggle you have to take us in now," Phantom said while barely being able to keep from laughing.

"Yeah giggle clamp 'em in irons," Shadow said as both she and Phantom stuck their arms out as if expecting him to put them in handcuffs.

"What… I expected you guys to be a little bit more difficult to capture," Edward said in an extremely flustered voice.

"We admit defeat," Phantom said while lowering her arms.

"Well this is bittersweet," Edward said to no one in particular.

"Oh and to answer your first question: it was easy, all we had to do was dismantle it, move it to the roof and put it back together. And the high security room was easy, especially for Phantom, any room with an air vent is fair game," Shadow said while trying to remember if that answered all of the 'how?' questions.

"And why do we steal and give it back? To prove that your security isn't as good as you think it is. And, yes, we do enjoy taunting the military. And again, yes, it is sort of a game to us. And you hit the nail on the head when you said we do it just to prove we can," Phantom said while wondering if she should have told him all of that.

"But you're hurting innocent people," Edward said.

"What are you talking about we're doing them a favor!" Shadow yelled in protest.

"How?!?" Edward asked in an angry yet curious voice.

"When you think about it, they're lucky we put back everything we stole! If we were real crooks, you people would have been high and dry! We're helping you!" Phantom said.

"How?" Edward asked in a now more curious than angry voice.

"You guys have better security at all those places now, don't you?" Shadow asked even though she already knew that they did.

"True, we do have way better security now than we used to, but I still have to take you in," Edward said with a twinge of regret in his voice. He was starting to wish he hadn't caught them.

"I guess we're off to see the Mustang!" Phantom yelled loudly. Shadow and Edward just looked at each other then at Phantom as if she was crazy:

"You say that like it's a good thing," they said in unison.

* * *

The door opened into General Mustang's office as Edward walked in with Shadow and Phantom trailing slowly behind him.

"I'm impressed, Edward, how did you do it?" Roy asked curiously.

"Well, actually…" Edward started, but he didn't get to finish because Shadow and Phantom interrupted him and made it sound like there was a huge battle, they gestured, made sound effects and everything.

"Really," Roy said while rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Well then I suppose I didn't give you quite enough credit, Full Metal," Roy said while taking his focus off Shadow and Phantom and onto Edward.

Just then, Phantom got right in his face and said "Not near enough," Roy pushed her aside and gestured to, two of the guards.

"Put them in their new cell," he said coldly as both guards took hold of Shadow and Phantom and started trying to drag them out of the room.

"Edward help!" Phantom yelled as she tried to squirm free of the guard's grip.

"You aren't going to let them take us are you?" Shadow asked while helplessly trying to get free from one of the guards.

"Sorry I have to," Edward said while shrugging his shoulders.

"Come on Edward!" Phantom yelled as they dragged her out of the room while she was still squirming pitifully.

"I know you meant well but you still broke the law," Edward said to Shadow who was now the only one of the two thieves in the room.

"Fine. But you haven't heard the last from us," Shadow said as she too was dragged out of the room.

"They act like they know you," Roy said thoughtfully. Edward just sat there staring at the door. "Anyway… what did you mean when you said you knew they meant well?" Roy asked curiously.

"Well they just wanted to warn us about our faulty security systems," Edward said while still staring at the door.

"That's odd," Mustang said quietly.

* * *

**Michelle: I can't believe Edward didn't stand up for us!**

**Lyn: Why not he works for the military.**

**Michelle: Still I mean really we made him look so good in front of Mustang.**

**Lyn: Whatever we can deal with it...**

**Michelle: Anyway, read and review!**

**Lyn: they've already read it you idiot...**

**Michelle: Fine... Review!**


	7. Visitors

**A/N: I know I haven't updated in a billion years but come on! I get no feedback so what's the rush? If you want me to update please review cause I already have up to chapter fourteen written so writer's block is not the issue!**

* * *

Chapter 7: Visitors

Later that evening Shadow and Phantom were sitting in their brand new prison cell (YAY!!!!) when the prison guard walked in. "You two have visitors," he said with complete void of emotion.

Both Shadow and Phantom looked up to see who would possibly be coming to see them.

"Oh it's you," Shadow said with contempt.

"Look it's the Full Metal _**Traitor**_" Phantom said with disdain.

"You know if I could get you out I would, but that isn't my job," Edward said, suddenly feeling guilty.

"He's right… that's my job," Roy said as he strolled in with Riza and Alphonse trailing behind him.

"And do you ever do your job?" Phantom asked.

"Oh, this one bites back," Roy said while leaning closer to the bars. Phantom lunged suddenly at the bars and slapped him as hard as was possible.

"Phantom get a grip!" Shadow yelled while pulling Phantom back away from the bars before she could do any more damage.

"You've already cost the military hundreds of thousands of dollars with your little game," Roy said while gently rubbing the area on his face where Phantom had slapped him.

"Oh now I feel really bad!" Phantom yelled sarcastically. "Bad kitty, bad!" she said while slapping her face playfully.

Roy started lecturing them about how they had good intentions but went about fixing the problem the wrong way 'yatti-yatti-yatta does this guy ever shut up? 'Phantom thought to herself.

"You will probably have to face life in prison," Riza said dryly.

"What?!?" Phantom yelled while slamming her hand on the transmutation circle she had been drawing on the bench ever since he started lecturing them. (They thought she was just doodling harmlessly). A giant rock hand came out of the floor and grabbed hold of Roy, Riza, Edward and Alphonse.

"You know, we were thinking of letting you out but now I'm not so sure that's a good idea," Roy said calmly as the rock hand quickly retreated until they were free once again. Phantom ran over to the bars and stars dusting them off through the bars.

"You know we were just joking right," Phantom said nervously.

"Please let us out!" Shadow begged pathetically.

Phantom had backed off the bars just a little but she again approached them, this time with even more speed than the first time /Phantom grabs Roy by the shirt collar/ "I'll be good I swear!" she yelled miserably. /Roy removes Phantom's hands from his shirt collar/

"Down kitty" he said sarcastically "And anyway we're not really worried about you. Usually we don't even keep the sidekicks," Roy said.

"I'm not a… If I said I was a sidekick would you let me out?" Phantom asked quietly.

"Yeah, pretty much," Roy said flatly.

"I'm a sidekick," Phantom said quickly after he finished.

"Traitor," Shadow said mockingly.

"Too bad," Roy said cruelly while exited with Riza and Alphonse, which just left Edward. Shadow and Phantom now turn all their attention to Edward and glare at him.

"Hehehe, if you need me I'll be with Major Pain," Edward said as he started to leave.

"The only Major Pain here is you!" Shadow yelled after him.

"That's cold," Edward said from the door.

"Ice cold," Shadow said as she licked her finger, touched her butt and made a sizzling noise. Phantom attempted to do the same but was unsuccessful due to the fact that her finger got stuck to her tongue.

"Shadow, my finger is stuck to my tongue," Phantom said weakly.

"And with that I bid you a fond farewell," Edward said with a salute as he exited.

"Jerk!" Shadow yelled her final insult through the bars.

"I'm still stuck," Phantom said helplessly.

"Way to look stupid," Shadow said.

"I'm not trying to!" Phantom said pathetically.

"Here, let me help," Shadow said while taking pity on poor Phantom. Eventually Phantom thawed and her finger was freed.

* * *

**Michelle: who would have thought that my finger could ever get stuck to my tongue!**

**Lyn: Apparently you.**

**Michelle: well anyway read and review!**

**Lyn: like I said before, they've already read...**

**Michelle: Review!**


	8. The Great Escape and The Discovery

**A/N: Okay chapters 8 and 9 are together because both of them are short... just a btw... _Diamond Moonlight Rules! _**

**Disclaimer: Don't own FMA, wish I did, you get the point... Nor do I own the move S.I.N.G. It's from Ms. Congeniality**

* * *

Chapter 8: The Great Escape

"Now we just need to get out," Phantom said bluntly. Both Shadow and Phantom looked around for a few seconds.

"I'm working on it," Shadow said while trying to find some sort of weakness in the bars.

"Don't bother," Phantom said while looking up at an air vent on the ceiling.

"They're doing our jobs for us!" Shadow said with amusement.

"I'll be back with the keys," Phantom said as she started crawling into the vent. Phantom crawled for a while.

When she finally jumped down, she walked over to a door, kicksed it open, walked into a room full of guards and yelled "Hiya boys!" Suddenly all guns are cocked and pointed at her.

"You wouldn't shoot a poor, defenseless, little girl would you?" Phantom said while raising her arms in the air. One of the guards walked over and started to try to handcuff her.

"You know I think it's time you learned how to SING," Phantom said playfully.

"What?" asked the guard.

"**S**tomach, **I**nstep, **N**ose, _**G**_roin!" Phantom yelled triumphantly as the guard fell to the ground. She then covered the entire room with flames.

The guard who had tries to handcuff her was starting to get back up when he found himself pinned to the wall with several dart like objects. "You don't mind if I borrow these, do you?" Phantom asked the guard as she took the keys out of his pocket. "Thanks," she said as she walked off towards the holding cells. She unlocked Shadow.

"What took you so long?" Shadow asked impatiently.

"I had to have a little fun," Phantom said with a grin.

"After you," Shadow said while gesturing towards the exit of the cell area.

"No, I insist," Phantom said while making the exact same motion.

Both of them laughed and strolled out at the same time. They passed the guard who was pinned to the wall.

"Hehehe, so I went a little overboard," Phantom said nervously.

"When don't you go a little overboard?" Shadow said playfully.

"I got you out, that's all that matters," Phantom said defensively.

"I know, I know," Shadow said playfully.

"We getting out of here or what?" Phantom said because they had been standing in front of the exit for about two minutes now.

"Yup," Shadow said as they both strolled out casually.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter 9: The Discovery

Roy, Edward, Alphonse and Riza were all in the car headed back to Roy's office when a random thought came across Edward.

"Are those cells air conditioned?" he asked in a concerned tone.

"The long term ones are, why?" Roy asked.

"We just did their jobs for them…" Edward said with a twinge of humiliation that he had not thought about that before.

"What do you mean?" Riza asked seriously.

"When I was bringing them to Mustang's office I asked them how they got into that high security room… and Shadow said that for Phantom any room with an air vent is fair game," Edward said now fully humiliated.

"Oh shit!" Roy said as he made a U-turn and sped the car up as fast as it would go. They rushed into where Shadow and Phantom's cell was.

"We're too late," Edward said quietly.

"Brother what is this?" Alphonse asked as he held a card up to Edward's face.

"That, Al, is Shadow and Phantom's calling card," Edward explained. He took it out of Al's hand and examined it.

"That's weird; they left a riddle and # here: #137- Mustang is the key to finding the next number, just look under his butt and keep the doors shut," Edward read.

Roy took it out of Edward's hand and reread it. "#137- yatti-yatti-yatta, sincerely Shadow and Phantom p.s. Catch us if you can!" Roy said in a frustrated voice.

"Those girls really bug me," Riza said.

"They've won for today but tomorrow we will find them, they couldn't have gotten far," Roy said with finality.

* * *

**Michelle: Yay!**

**Lyn: What?**

**Michelle: We've won!**

**Lyn: ... For today**

**Michelle: Whatever! Read and... I mean just review!**

**LYn: Very good... Now here's a cookie... .:gives michelle cookie:.**

**Michelle: Yay cookies! And reviewing!**


	9. Bings and Booms

**A/N: You know the drill R&R!**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Bings and Booms**

Roy went to Headquarters to report the escape. It took him quite awhile to explain what happened so by the time he finished it was about two or three in the morning. Mustang decided just to sleep in his office instead of going home. Everyone else left for home, except for Edward and Alphonse who went back to their military housing. The next day past quickly for the entire group, except Mustang who's day dragged on and seemed even longer because of boring daily activities and lack of sleep. At the end of the day, Mustang got home, unlocked the door, flicked on the light and looked like this: o.O.

He walked over to the phone in his bedroom and called Riza.

"Yes, sir," Riza said when she realized it was Roy.

"Riza, there are cat paw prints all over my walls," Roy said flatly.

"That's weird sir, I always thought you were more of a dog person," Riza said in an astounded voice.

"No, not my wallpaper… oh and my furniture is stuck to the ceiling," Roy said in a very frustrated manner.

"I'm sorry sir but I'm not falling for the "my furniture is stuck to the ceiling" routine again," Riza said as she was about to just hang the phone up. (AGAIN?)

"No, Riza, I'm serious! Would you be so kind as to assist me in removing it?" Roy asked.

"Of course… /gun cocks/ I'll be right over," Riza said while quickly hanging up the phone.

Roy's face: 0.0'.

* * *

Riza got to Roy's house, and knocked on the door. Roy answered the door and let her in. Riza's face: o.O.

"That is what I said," Roy said sarcastically.

"I think I'm going to find a right-side-up phone and call for some assistance," Riza said while still in awe at the sight of the house.

"And I am going to sit in the only right-side-up chair left," Roy said as he and Riza left the room. (obvious much?) Roy sat down in a large (right side up), comfortable chair.

"Ahhhh…" he said with relief (he had not been home since the day before). /smoke started rising from the seat cushion / BOOM! flames shot from the cushion and launched Roy about five feet into the air.

"Hot cheeks! Hot cheeks! Hot cheeks!" Roy yelled as he ran around the room in circles, then he stopped abruptly "Shit."

* * *

Riza found a right-side-up phone and dialed the number, and put the phone to her ear. The phone made a quite yet getting louder dinging noise. She covered the microphone part of the phone with her other hand.

"Roy I think your phone needs to be repair---," she yelled into the other room. Then came a deafening BING! Roy ran into the room.

"Don't use the phone!" he yelled urgently.

"What? What do you mean: donut lose cologne?" Riza yelled at him.

"No, I said: Don't use the phone, but now it's a little late," Roy said louder than he usually would have.

"First of all how could a donut lose cologne? It would have to have cologne in the first place, and who's ever heard of a donut using cologne?" Riza said in a loud confused voice.

"That's not what I said," Roy tried to clarify.

"Will you stop fooling around, and please stop talking backwards." Riza said as though she was talking to a child, a def (sp?) child.

Roy thought for a moment how to communicate with her. 'I got it!' he thought as he said; "Butt you dew link I read?" (What Riza hears: what do you think I said?).

"Oh, bat snot but I read," Riza said oddly.

"Maybe I better get a pen and some paper," Roy said to no one in particular.

"Lady I wetter bet a den land gum shaper! That doesn't make sense!" Riza yelled.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Michelle: .:laughs:. that was the best one yet!**

**Lyn: Don't yell or they'll here you! Riza is just in the other room...**

**Michelle: she wouldn't hear us if set off a bomb...**

**Lyn: whatever...**

**Michelle: Review! Please... I'll be really funny in the next chapter if you do!**


	10. Identity Crisis

**A/N: This is probably one of my favorite chapters because this is something my friend and I would totally do! So I hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own FMA...**

* * *

**Chapter 11: Identity Crisis**

A few days after the incident, life in the military went on like Shadow and Phantom had not ever been captured.

"I'm glad your hearing has returned to normal," Roy said to Riza as she walked in the room.

"Yes sir, it was awfully inconvenient to have to write down every order," Riza said.

"By the way do we have any idea where they might have gone?" Roy asked curiously.

"No, but we do know that they didn't leave Central on any public transportation," Riza replied solemnly.

"Well I guess that's better than nothing," Roy said regretfully.

* * *

The entrance to the military base was quiet this morning since almost no one worked on Sundays. Two girls were walking through the gate when the guard stopped them. 

"Excuse me ladies," he said politely.

"Yes sir," Michelle said while snapping to attention.

"What's the problem?" Lyn asked.

"Nothing, I just need to know your names and why you're here," he said casually.

"Oh! Um… I am…" Michelle stuttered nervously.

"Why does your jacket have Mustang's nameplate on it?" he asked suspiciously.

"Um… because I am his… his um…" Michelle babbled.

"She's his sister, his little sister! She's new to the military," Lyn cut in quickly.

"That's odd, Mustang never mentioned having a younger sister," the guard said while eyeing Michelle apprehensively.

"That's because he…" Michelle said while trying to avoid eye contact with the soldier.

"He wanted to protect her, you know, so no one would take her to use against him," Lyn added quickly.

"Oh yeah, now I see the resemblance," the guard said while looking Michelle right in the eyes.

"You do?" Lyn asked. The guard looked at her oddly. "I mean, good you do," she said nervously.

"Yeah we'll just be on our way," Michelle said as she started to walk off.

"Wait, I still need to know why you're here," the guard stopped them quickly.

"Um… because…" Michelle once again started to stutter.

"Because she's terribly ill and wants to see her brother," Lyn added as she received a sharp glance from Michelle.

"She looks fine to me," the guard said suspiciously. Lyn elbowed Michelle in the stomach.

"Ow. I mean… Ah! I'm sick! cough, cough" Michelle said hoarsely.

"See, she's so sick she doesn't even know what hurts," Lyn said while pretending to help Michelle stand.

"Help! Roy, I think I see the light!" Michelle yelled pathetically while reaching out with one of her hands and squinting her eyes.

"Oh alright, hurry up and go! And I hope you get better!" the guard yelled after them.

"Thank you sir!" Lyn yelled back as she "helped" Michelle through the gate.

* * *

"That was close," Michelle said as they got through the gate. 

"Yeah only because you're not very good at faking," Lyn said in an accusatory tone.

"What can I say, I'm not a very good liar," Michelle said truthfully.

"Let's do this!" Lyn said as they walked off towards the office buildings.

* * *

A few minutes later outside Mustang's office… 

"Wait, stop I hear something," Lyn said as she motioned for Michelle to put her ear up against the door.

"What do you mean my little sister is here?" they heard Roy said. Then they heard a muffled voice that they assumed was coming from the phone. "How can my little sister be sick if I don't have a little sister?" Mustang said in a frustrated voice. The muffled voice returned then they heard Mustang yell "For the last time I don't have a little sister!" then he slammed the phone back onto its receiver.

"Hehehe, this is going to be fun," Michelle said as she stepped away from the door and motioned for Lyn to do the same.

"Oh no, what are you going to do?" Lyn asked nervously.

"You'll see," Michelle said as she flashed Lyn a lopsided grin.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Lyn: I hate it when you do that...

Michelle: Review!


End file.
